Friday, September 23, 2005

Week 4 picks and thoughts

You want to know what I absolutely can't stand about college football, the one sport head and shoulders above all others? Games drag on forever. Your average game lasts three and a half hours. Last week's Ole Miss-Vandy rumble nearly lasted four. Yikes. The main culprit, if you ask me, is the rule that the clock stops on first down until the ref spots the ball. They don't do this in pro football, and it's no coincidence that NFL games are much shorter.

Unless of course, you're Nebraska and you don't believe in first downs...then you probably don't notice.

Week 4 of college football season has some good matchups, starting tonight with:

Iowa State at Army
In a different era, before year-round recruiting and unlimited substitution, Army was a real powerhouse. That is no longer, of course, and I don't see any major changes on the horizon that would allow Army to compete any better than they do now. Iowa State wins this one in a walk.

Cal at New Mexico State
Cal's QB problems are well-documented, with the loss of Nate Longshore for the season and the early-season struggles of JUCO transfer Joseph Ayoob. Still, they will bring it against the Aggies, and I hope they do. NMSU Head Coach Hal Mumme is a dead man in Kentucky for cheating, running that program into the ground and leaving it on probation. His defensive coordinator, Woody Widenhofer, was the fat sack of crap who left Vandy in a shambles. I'm a big boy myself, but I don't need a golf cart to haul my fat ass around a football practice in which I'm not participating. No vaseline, Cal.

Tomorrow's games:

USC at Oregon
Would USC beat the Vikings? They put the boots to Arkansas worse than Vandy did. Wow. Trojans get it done in noisy Autzen Stadium.

Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech
GAME OF THE DAY. You gotta like the Hokies at home, but the Ramblin' Wreck won't lay down. They didn't at Auburn, and I doubt they're going to tomorrow. Special teams and turnovers have a way of settling the close games, and Beamer's VA Tech squads never disappoint in that area.

Florida at Kentucky
Forced sodomy, anyone? I thought about going to this one, but I couldn't bear to watch. Kentucky always plays Florida tough at home, but not this year. Probation and injuries have decimated this blue crew. Good look keeping it under 60.

Georgia at Mississippi State
I heard that tornadoes leveled Starkville and made millions of dollars worth of improvements. Georgia won't level the Bulldogs, but they'll pull this one out. Don't think Mark Richt has any Zook in him...

Iowa at Ohio State
Too much D, and just enough O will get the job done for the Bucks. And if you disagree with that, they'll tell you where the f--- you can go.

Louisville at South Florida
The only concern for Louisville faithful isn't whether or not Brian Brohm will hang 60 on South Florida. Rather, it's whether or not the game will even be televised locally.

Purdue at Minnesota
Battle of the Big Ten Underachievers. Purdue's always been soft, but they've got a strong enough offensive attack to win this shootout. Now Gophers, you have an all-world back in Lawrence Maroney. Your QB is still Bryan Cupito, and last time I checked, he sucked big time. Purdue, all day long.

Colorado at Miami
Upset special. Miami always loses a game at home that they shouldn't. Two years ago, it was Tennessee. Last year, it was Clemson. I smell a letdown after their 3-OT win over Clemson on the road last week.

Michigan at Wisconsin
Wild Wisconsin crowd, night game, unproven Michigan team with loads of talent but offensive questions marks. I like Wisconsin in this one. I do not like the "Eat Sh-t/F--- You" chants from the Wisconsin student section. Unbelievably low class. One of the finest state schools in the country...you think they could come up with something more clever than crass.

Notre Dame at Washington
In a fair world, UW would bend ND over and redeem coach Ty Willingham after the way he was treated by his former employer. Of course, life isn't fair. The Huskies are overmatched before Notre Dame even gets off the bus.

Michigan State at Illinois
This is usually where MSU likes to lay an egg after overachieving the previous week (in this case, an overtime win over Notre Dame on the road). I think John L. Smith is a dirtbag, but he's got all-world Drew Stanton in his corner. On the other side of the ring: Ron Zook. Take the Spartans in a squeaker.

Arizona State at Oregon State
Big time shootout here. The Sun Devils will put up loads of points and sneak home with a W.

Indiana State at Texas Tech
Will the Red Raiders get to 100? Perhaps. Should they be ashamed for their schedule? Absolutely. What, the Oklahoma School of Engine Repair couldn't make it?

Arkansas at Alabama
I think Frank Broyles has Butch Davis' number on speed dial. Alabama has already started game planning for next week's showdown with Florida.

Duke at Virginia
At last, a game I couldn't care less about.

Tennessee at LSU
It doesn't matter when they play this game. LSU will take the Vols to the woodshed.

Richmond at Vanderbilt
Of course, the one for all the marbles. Vandy should walk away with this talentwise. Got to make sure nobody gets hurt and that the starters are out of there in plenty of time. Not to worry. Between cheap tickets, freebies for faculty and staff, and Parents' Weekend, I hear that this one should have an awesome turnout. Go Dores!


One final note: I broke down and bought Vandy basketball season tickets today. If you or anyone you know wants to go to the Kentucky-Vandy game in Nashville on February 11, let me know. I can make you happy and pay for the whole season all in one bang.

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